Thank You Lord!!!

Hello all!
Jeff's memory has been a tad bit better the last week or so...PRAISE GOD!!

The doc said that's a good sign...PRAISE GOD!!

We received a phone call yesterday that the drug for Jeff has been approved by our insurance...PRAISE GOD!!!

He will start this new treatment (approved medicine with different chemo) on Jan 10th and then every 2 weeks we will go to Long Beach for a 2-3 hour intravenous treatment. The doctor said that he shouldn't get too ill because the dosage isn't too big...PRAISE GOD!!!

I have a new hope with this new treatment...PRAISE GOD!!!

Please join us in thankful prayers and praise to our heavenly father for His continued care and provision!!!

Bless you!
~Jayne~

Prayer Warriors Unite!

I apologize for the delay in updating...
In my previous post I told you that last week Wednesday night he had headaches and vomiting, well, on Thursday night he went completely loopy...it was like he was high on something, he wouldn't stay in bed and he was talking about a crew that he had to feed and painting that had to be done etc...like he was a foreman on a construction site...he was talking to people who weren't there and talking to me like I was just some girl he was with, not his wife...then I got up to find the whole kitchen torn apart, the gas was turned on on the stove and the stove was pulled away from the wall, the microwave was pulled away and the toaster was hanging by the cord off of the edge of the counter...that was when I started to cry and yell, "Lord, I don't know what to do!" At about 4am I called my parents and they came over...after 2 hours of watching him, they advised me to call 911...he was taken to ER by ambulance and a few hours after taking a CAT scan they said they talked to his oncologist and since nothing looked any different than the last MRI he should be okay to go home...I was a little nervous about what Friday would bring, but it was okay, he was definitely more confused though, didn't always know who I was, kept thinking my name was Wendy (his girlfriend in high school)...he couldn't believe we were married, but somehow glad he married me!?!?!? Anyway, he slept better on Friday night, between 3:30 & 4 am I woke up to find him gone, so I got up to check and he was in the kitchen eating (which was common before the tumor) so I kissed him and said come back to bed when you're done...I was back in bed for 5 minutes when I heard the chirp of our alarm which means a door has been opened, I sprung up and got to the locked front door just in time to hear the screen door slam shut like someone had just gone out...I opened it and called his name, he was already down to the street...he was looking for his bed...he was thankful that there was a place for him to sleep in our house. He then came to bed and slept through the night, Thank God! Saturday was more normal (for lack of a better word). This week is lots better...less confusion the past few days...again, Thank God!!!

This past Thursday we went to the oncologist at Long Beach and he told us about the new intravenous medication and chemo...he has one other patient that is taking this combination who is 57 years old and his tumor is shrinking and he's not too sick from the treatment...so...now for our prayer request...please pray for these same results with Jeff's tumor!!! We are hopeful that this treatment is going to be the tool by which God heals him!!!

Again, we both are confident that God has brought us to this time in our lives and so we will trust Him in all things..."He will never leave us or forsake us!" We know that to be true...I just told Jeff...other than getting him better, we really have no worries...God is a faithful, providing God!!!

Thank you again, for all your prayers...keep lifting us up as we travel through this journey!

Bless you!
~Jayne~

I also know 2 other families in need of prayer: Greg Litherland is a friend of ours from church, whom we've served with in Kids Klub over the years...his father was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor right around the same time as Jeff and passed away last week. Please pray for comfort for Laura Litherland (Greg's mom), Greg & his family and his siblings and their families...Larry & Laura were high school sweethearts...they were together a long time. We met and got to know the Litherlands since Larry and Jeff were getting Radiation treatments at the same time at LB Memorial...they are very friendly, Godly people!

Also, other dear friends of ours, the Kings, have 2 college age daughters and the youngest of the two, Rebecca, passed away yesterday morning...I called her dad, Larry, today and he said he thought she just had a cold, but when he went to check on her she was blue...he has medic training and did all he could to revive her, but God took her home...as you can imagine, the Kings (Pat, Larry and oldest daughter Elizabeth) are devastated...please pray for their comfort, strength and the peace of God to fill them.

Life as we know it = upside down!

Jeff didn't have a good night last night...he was suffering from extreme headaches and vomiting, neither one of us got any sleep. Anyway, yesterday I called Cedar Sinai to let them know that Jeff is getting more confused and wanted to double check what I needed to do...I got a call back today, and after I told the nurse about last night, she talked to the doctor and asked if we could come in today...so...thanks to our wonderful church, we were picked up by Terry McCluney (a fellow Emmanuelite) and driven to LA! The doctor said that there is definitely more tumor and that the current Chemo is not working...he has a trial medication that is only approved for use with colon and lung cancer, but he believes it will help Jeff so now we wait for insurance approval and then we can start this new experimental drug along with a new Chemo.

Please pray that the insurance approval is timely and overall that God's will is done!!!

Also, a prayer of thankfulness...I am scared, but have much peace with the new information and Jeff really does too, so we are comforted by the Holy Spirit and an overwhelming knowledge that God is with us.

Glory to God in the highest!!!
Jayne

Still Trusting!!!

I haven't updated in awhile because not much has changed...Jeff is still forgetting that he has cancer and all the other events I mentioned before. There was one day last week when he was able to remember the Cancer thing most of the day without my reminders. Yesterday, just as we sat down in church, he complained about not being able to hear the music...that lasted a little more than 20 minutes, but I was ready to walk out of church and take him to emergency...when he said he could hear fine again, I just broke down! This is sooo scary sometimes...it's almost like waiting for the bomb to drop!! After church I thought I'd try not to give him reminders unless he asks and even when he didn't remember where something was in the house or that it was Sunday, he just shrugged his shoulders and didn't ask me anything. Later in the evening his question was "Am I sick, do I have cancer?" Like always I had to confirm his worst fear, adding encouraging things like the Dr's are not hopeless etc...etc...etc... Anyway, today he's had a headache most of the day and has been in bed, but I think he's remembering about the Cancer...so...we'll see how this evening goes. The high point will be going to Dalaynee's Preschool Christmas Program...she assures me that she sings really good!!!! We will make sure to get it on videotape, otherwise Jeff will forget...

Nevertheless...GOD IS GOOD...ALL THE TIME!!!!! We continue to take one day at a time and trust our heavenly Father.

Bless you!!!

~Jayne~

Thankful for the little things

Keep praying!!!! Yesterday there were at least 3 occasions when Jeff was able to hold on to a few facts for longer than just minutes!!!! I am thankful...that tells me that it's all in there somewhere and maybe just hearing it over and over is helping it to stick...anyway, I'm also thankful that his memory is the only problem he has right now...no headaches or nausea!!!! Praise God from whom all blessings flow!!!!!

~Jayne~

Quick Prayer Request

As I told you in my last post, Jeff has started to forget that he has cancer...sometimes within minutes. Today someone said to me, "Why remind him?" "Why not just let him forget?" The answer is that Jeff is not the type who would want to be kept in the dark about something serious, plus he looks in the mirror and wonders why his head is bald on the sides (he hasn't done chrome dome in a few weeks)! Anyway, my hopeful spirit has depleted some from 20 or more times a day of telling him, "They won't operate, but it is not hopeless because they haven't exhausted all their treatment options yet". Then he will ask me if the treatments they've done have worked...I tell him that they haven't seen much change in the tumor so they might change his treatment soon...inside I'm screaming, because it all sounds so hopeless to me!!!

Please pray that I will regain my hope so my strength will just radiate onto Jeff when he is shocked over and over with the fact that he has brain cancer.

Thank you!!!!! God be with you!!!!

~Jayne~

MRI RESULTS

Well, the doctor at Cedar Sinai looked at the MRI and came in to tell us that he believes he sees a little more tumor on the CD...since we did not get a written report with the CD he's not sure if that is really what he saw. In any case, if there is a bit of growth, he wants to change the Chemo that Jeff is taking (he will get back to us about that)...so...here we are, a little more uncertain about the future, but we continue to trust God and will take one day at a time. Also, there has been a slight change in his memory loss in the past few days...he sometimes forgets how sick he is & he forgets that his mom passed away 2 years ago...both of these things are very hard for me to re-tell him because of the shock they cause.

Thank you again for the prayer support and all the monetary gifts...we continue to be overwhelmed with blessing!!!!!
~Jayne~

Pray...Pray...Pray...Pray

Just a quick reminder...Jeff is getting another MRI this afternoon and then on Wednesday morning we have an appointment at Cedar Sinai to go over the results. Please pray for good news!!! Jeff has been doing better this past week with headaches and nausea...however, yesterday he got a headache just before we left church about 12 or 12:30p, I gave him pain reliever as often as the Doc said I can, and at 7:30p he was still in bed with a headache...he finally had relief about 9:30 or 10p...he also starts chemo again today, but so far he seems to feel okay, please continue to pray for no severe side effects...I'll be sure to let you know what we find out on Wednesday.

As always...Thank you for your prayers and may God richly bless all of you!!!

~Jayne~

UPDATE...UPDATE...UPDATE...UPDATE...

Howdy all!

Well, I just read my last post and decided that not much has changed with Jeff...he's still pretty depressed (although we have 2 meds that should start working a bit better here in a few days)...the headaches & nausea, which got a little worse after my last post, have settled down again...the last 3 days, he hasn't had more than 1-2 (not too severe) headaches per day and the nausea is not as severe either!!! Praise God!!!! He has to take the Chemo again during Thanksgiving week, so please pray that the side affects lessen, so he can enjoy the holiday.

For those of you with access to my sister's blog, you know we had "Trunk or Treat" at our church (Dalaynee was a pink poodle, I thought is was a lamb...but was corrected) and that we went to Malibu...here's a few photos that Laur didn't post...

**TRUNK OR TREAT**

Caring for Mom, BGC (Before getting candy).

Daddy & Dalaynee, AGC (After getting candy).


**MALIBU**

Shooting the breeze! Relaxing by the pool (um, I mean, Ocean)!


Holy Cow (not what I really said)...this water is cold!!!!! Of course Dalaynee didn't feel the cold...she's laughing her head off about my screaming!!!


Playing in the water and Posing for Auntie Laur



Saturday, Nov 3rd, was "Papa's" birthday...When you're 3, birthdays & candles are the BEST!!!!!


We had a WONDERFUL relaxing time! THANK YOU YARGERS!!!!




We now have a date for the next MRI...Nov 19th in the afternoon...please pray that the results show shrinkage or no tumor at all!!! Also, pray for my friend Susan as she is again back in the hospital with Meningitis...and fluid buildup...she may be there for a week or so...also, Mike, her husband has been battling gull stones and was looking into gull bladder surgery when Susan was admitted, so they are going through the ringer right now!

As for me...in Coffee Break this past Wednesday, part of the lesson was about submitting to God's will and not trying to figure out our lives on our own. Wow! Even though that's difficult in any situation it's really difficult when you're dealing with life and death, I am afraid of what God's will is...please pray that Jeff & I get to a point that we can completely submit and be thankful for this trial and joyful in the midst of it. Honestly, there are some days when I can be joyful, but other days it's harder.

Dalaynee is doing better at school with the hitting thing, so that is a definite praise! I just spoke with Zack tonight and it looks like school is going good for him and Andrew is doing pretty good as well, he's cleaning pools again and seems to make ends meet.

As always...we are most grateful for the love and support we've received from our church family, our friends and family...The Lord truly provides!!!!! We continue to ask that God help us to be a blessing as we have been blessed
~Jayne~

PS-thank you to the anonymous giver of cash that we received in the mail on Friday...you are one of the many blessings in this journey!!!

Boundless Blessing!!!

This past Saturday about 8:15a...6 men and 1 boy showed up at our house to do whatever needed to be done to make our lawns look manicured again (as Jeff usually keeps them). Well, since our wonderful neighbor across the street is very dutifully keeping up the front lawn, I directed them to the back yard...in May Jeff planted a vegetable garden (annual event) and in early June he had his seizure, so because I am not the garden kind of gal, his vegetables were okay for awhile, but eventually dried up and bit the dust. Our lawn was starting to look like one of those you see with the old broken down vehicles in it (although without the vehicles)...within 1-2 hours these wonderful, giving saints had that yard looking clean cut and put together! Jeff was in bed all morning because of migraines and nausea, but when he got up and looked, he was very pleased and thankful!!!! Just a note...when in a situation like this, God blesses you in ways that you don't even think of...I figured one of these days I would get out there and pull all the old plants etc... Anyway, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU...FROM THE BOTTOM OF OUR HEARTS...YOU GUYS BLESSED OUR SOCKS OFF!!!!...

{From back to front: John VanderMeer, Doug Palmer and Corey...
I'm sorry, Corey, I don't remember your last name =( }


{In middle: Jeff Hogan}


{Ken Chavarria}


{Tim & Elijah deKoekkoek}


On another note:
This past Friday morning, I heard my little girl call out "Mom, I'm going out to watch the trash truck.", this is a normal occurrence on Friday Morning...when I came around the corner to see how far she had gone out of the front door...this is what I saw... Pajamas, headband, slippers, & stool perched on the porch to witness the show!!! When she came in she was quite excited {although it is not yet Halloween, we had to throw away a pumpkin because she dropped it too many times and it had a soft spot on the side}...while the trash man made the big arms dump the collected trash in the front dumpster into the back of the truck, Dalaynee got to see our pumpkin fly in the air as it made it's way with the rest of the trash!!!! What a GREAT way to start a Friday!!!

...
Jeff has definitely been doing better in the headache and nausea departments, especially when he's not taking the chemo...but...he's not doing any better with the day timer/journal...I have come to realize that I am sometimes too easy on him...I think it's because I've never had to tell him what to do, he's always been very capable and particular about how he does things, so he didn't need, or frankly want, my help...so I'm still trying to get used to telling him what needs to be done! I have been keeping up on writing daily events in his journal so he can at least look at it as a reference...today I went through everything with him a couple of times and even though he gave me a dirty look, he paid a little bit of attention! Please pray that along with strength, I have the diligence to push him a little even when it's not comfortable for me. Also, Dalaynee came down with the flu on Saturday night (4-5 times during the night we were up)...she only threw up 2 times yesterday and was able to keep a little down today...please pray that neither I nor Jeff get the flu. Please also continue to pray for shrinkage or obliteration of the tumor to be the result of the next MRI 2-3 weeks from now. Personal Note: I've come to understand that when the Bible says that God will never give you more than you can handle...what it means is that He will give you the strength to handle whatever circumstance He puts you in...6-7 months ago if someone would have told me my immediate future, I would have asked God to spare me, because I am not able to withstand something like this...in looking back at the past, almost, 5 months I am simply amazed at how God has brought me this far! I am re-learning to NEVER doubt our Heavenly Father or His perfect will!!!!

Jeff & I constantly pray for God to Bless others as they have blessed us!!!!
~Jayne~

Prayers Answered!!!

Hello All!

Just thought I'd let you know that the prayers you have been uttering about Jeff's headaches have been working...along with the fact that I increased the amount of his anti-inflammatory drug by half a pill a day! Also, he started the Chemo again today and didn't have much nausea, however, maybe that will be stronger later in the week, so please continue to pray for relief from the nausea. I was given Godly advice from a dear friend at church (Mrs. V) to pray over Jeff's head and stomach and, in Jesus name, command the swelling parts to go back to how God created them and demand whatever is causing the nausea to stop...I've been trying to do this before he goes to sleep and night and the last few nights he had no problems...THANK YOU GOD!!!!

One more minor prayer request...

Dalaynee has been hitting other kids at Pre-school, her teacher says that she's not an overall disciplinary problem....she likes to follow directions and is happy to complete a task when asked...she hits me sometimes at home too, when she's upset...I give her time outs every time...I'm not sure if it has to do with what's going on in our house or what, but please pray that she grows out of this trait!


A PERSONAL NOTE:
Coffee Break was GREAT last Wednesday...they are studying James - Trials and Temptations...what a great time for me to be able to go!!! I am impressed by the leaders and feel it will be a wonderful place for me to be filled up when I am often drained at home!!!

FUTURE PRAYER REQUEST--we are supposed to get another MRI in 2-3 weeks...please pray from now 'til then that there is shrinkage or no tumor at all!

May God richly bless you!!!!
~Jayne~

Immediate prayer needed...

Just a short note for a specific prayer request...

The last few days Jeff has been experiencing horrible headaches...from what the doctors have said, I believe these are due to the swelling in his brain but they have told me to taper him off of the anti swelling drug...and...so far, Tylenol seemed to control the headaches, so when I talked to the doctor's nurse at Cedar Sinai about giving him more anti swelling meds she informed that the doc feels there shouldn't be an increase as long as Tylenol seems to be taking care of it. Well, very early this morning (4:30a) Jeff woke up with a terrible one and so I gave him Tylenol and he tried to go back to sleep...then he awoke at 5:30 and asked if I had given him anything for a headache and then again at 6:30...I think about 7a he was feeling better. Again this afternoon between 3p & 3:30p he asked for something for a headache...we were out running errands so I gave him 3 Advil from my purse first and then one more a little later (a medical professional once told me that I could take up to 4 "over-the-counter" pain meds at a time and still be fine (I have had headaches for years)...at 5p he was still in major pain so I gave him 3 Tylenol...not until about 6p or 6:30p did he start feeling better and then, of course, his stomach started bothering him! My concern is that he hasn't taken the chemo pill for 3 weeks and next week Monday he has to take it again for 5 days...which may increase his side effects! We have an appointment next week Monday with his GP who is the one that prescribed his Nausea meds, so maybe we can get a higher mg, since his chemo mg is higher....Please pray that we find a way to relieve him of these minor, yet monotonous, side effects since they tell us we may need to do this amount of chemo for 12 to 24 months.

"The Lord Bless you and keep you, the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you, the Lord lift His countenance upon you and give you peace!!!!!!"

~Jayne~

Bath? Did someone say bath?????

A few nights ago when it was time for Laynee's bath...she got the idea that a bath in the kitchen sink would be wonderful...since I had no strength to argue and realized it would be easier for me then being on my knees on the bathroom tile floor, I agreed. Even though she had to be all scrunched up to fit in the sink, she absolutely loved it...as a matter of fact, I didn't mind it too much either, but the bathtub is definitely less of a mess!!!! Here's a few candids of the occasion...

Now, back to real life...our current prayer requests are: shrinkage or obliteration of tumor, restoration of Jeff's memory, strength for both of us, the Lord's joy during this trial, that Jeff would learn to like his day planner (which will help with his memory)...he HATES it and grumbles every time he has to write anything down in it (this was suggested by his memory therapists as a tool to help him compensate for what he can't remember right now...but he needs to write down as many details about his day as possible which makes him feel stupid and childish). Also, since I am not working right now, I've decided to join Coffee Break at our church next week, in the morning while Dalaynee is in Preschool, please pray that this is as wonderful a blessing for me as I believe it might be. Well, I guess that's it.

May God richly bless those, who richly bless the Nords!!!!!!

~Jayne~

Party...Party!!!!!

Last night I was privileged to spend the evening with my daughter at "Mom's night out" (sponsored by the preschool)...the flyer said bring your favorite preschooler and come for a fun filled evening...the only catch was...it was a Pajama party!!!! Well, (I may be divulging too much info, but) since I wear a short nightie to bed, I had to find PJ's with pants...I went to Wal Mart, but since I didn't try them on...the shirt wasn't the right size...so off to Kohl's...my new FAVORITE store (they always have sales)...anyway, I found very comfortable Jammie's that I can wear around the house this winter...and...of course...Dalaynee saw how much fun I was having trying things on (NOT) so she wanted to join in...long story short...I weakened and bought her new PJ's too with Tinkerbell on them...(even though she already had 2 great pair from my cousins Kevin & Tracy that she could wear). All in all, the decor and activities were very cute and Dalaynee and the other kids had a blast!!!! In addition to what my photos show there was a snack area, craft, bean bag toss and pillow case hop...the kids were sweaty, but you couldn't wipe the smile off of their faces!!!

Anticipation..anticipa-a-tion (song from old heinz ketchup commercial)......

A game where the kids held the edges of a sheet and tossed stuffed animals into the air (the little boy with glasses next to Laynee is one of my cousin Mike's twins (either Jake or Tyler). Laynee did this one about 4 times.

This was where they played the song "10 in a bed" they rolled and rolled until the one on the right ran to the other end and started to roll again (the boy in the red pajamas is Laynee's friend Landon)...she did this about 3 times.

The preschool staff...I got to see first hand how much they love our kids...we are thankful!!!!

Mommy & Dalaynee

GOD IS GOOD....ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!

(Havasu, April, 2007)

Well, between 9:30 and 10 this morning we jumped on the freeway bound for the metropolis we call L.A. Our first appointment was at Cedar Sinai at 11:30...we actually walked into the office at 11:45 because we drove around the parking garage about 6 times before we found a spot big enough for the Suburban. We went in to see Dr. Phuphanich (whom we've seen 2 other times since the diagnosis) and after his assistant did small tests on Jeff by asking him different questions about the year, month, etc...and to remember 3 words for longer than a few minutes (he remembered 2 out of 3!!!). She took our copies of Jeff's MRI's and left the room...after awhile the Dr. himself came in with photo copies of Jeff's tumor. He proceeded to tell us that he had just spoken with our Radiologist at Long Beach Memorial and believes that he (the radiologost) hasn't seen much of what's happening here...but...what looks like growth in the tumor is just what they call "pseudo-progression" which means even though it looks like the tumor has progressed (grown), it's actually just swelling from the treatments...which means...we are not worse off than we were...the tumor is being aggravated, in a sense, by the treatments and is swelling...so...we must keep on with the chemo we are doing (500mg for 5 days/month) and in 1 month we'll do another MRI to see where we are...he did not seem concerned at all...PRAISE GOD!!!! Then after a tasty subway sandwich, we moseyed on over to UCLA Medical Center (The Buccowich's Doctor) to get one more consultation (our appointment was at 3p and we actually got there early enough to fill out paperwork). Doctor Ngheimphu (a female) came in after her assistant did some of the same kind of tests on Jeff that they did a CS...and...she had looked at the MRI and completely agreed with Dr. Phuphanich...it seems to her that this is a case of "pseudo-progression" and she supports Dr. P's advice to keep doing what we are doing and get another MRI in a month. She said she knows Dr. Phuphanich and he is a very good Dr. She then proceeded to give us each one of her cards and said, well, now we (UCLA) are in the loop too...so...if anything comes up that you need further clarification on...just give me a call. We are so blessed to have 2 kind, knowledgeable doctors working on Jeff's case! Now, here's where God is soooooo good...On the way to LA Jeff and I prayed (I didn't close my eyes) that we would receive positive feedback and direction for the next step...He answered our prayer in a matter of hours...we definitely received positive feedback and the fact that 2, highly regarded, doctors agreed so completely directs us to follow their advice, at least for right now...we are thankful, relieved, hope filled, and blessed by the power of the living God!!!!!!

By the way, thank you to the anonymous giver of gas cards we received in the mail yesterday...you are a blessing!!!!!

Thank you all for your prayers...we are recipients of much blessing!
~Jayne~

Day to Day...

Today was a pretty good day overall...after I dropped Laynee of at Preschool I came home and made some phone calls...one was to UCLA...I had been referred to doctors there in a round about way from a friend of a friend and then Mike Buccowich called and said that they had a follow-up appointment for Susan yesterday at UCLA (with one of the same doc's my friend had mentioned) and they explained about Jeff's case to their doc's...they were told to have us come in ( if that isn't a word from the Lord, I don't know what is)...so...we have an appointment next week Wednesday!! Also, from my cousins sister-in-law I was referred to doctors at Barrow Neurological Institute at St. Joseph's Hospital in Phoenix, Arizona. I will call them tomorrow. I also made an eye doc appointment for Jeff. His eyesight was kind of off before they found the tumor and I don't think it's gotten better or worse since...but...he seems to be mentioning it a lot lately, so we might as well rule it out as tumor related...also, it just may be that he is 43 and it's time for glasses...so at least we can determine all of that. I felt a bit more positive after getting those few phone calls done...maybe something will pay off for us.

Please pray for Jeff's depression and hopelessness...knowing that the treatments did not work, he feels very defeated right now. I need more strength & also hope...I'm finding that sometimes I don't believe myself when I tell him it's going to be okay.

You are a blessing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~Jayne~

Some of you already know...but...the Dr. called this afternoon to tell me that the Chemo and radiation that Jeff has gone through did not work...the MRI he had last Thursday showed no shrinkage and maybe even a little growth. We are floored!!!! This is not what we expected, however, we still know with all our hearts that God is in control and because of that we will not give up! We have options...the dr's are going to look into some other chemo treatment and we know some who have had other treatments that have given them better outcomes than what the dr's suspected...so...this is just a set back...not an ending!!!

Please pray for Jeff's attitude and continued strength for me...I am feeling mighty weak about now, but Jeff told me tonight that he needs me to be strong because he's ready to give up & refuse all treatment; that was when I decided I will not cry in front of him anymore...but...alone, that's a different story! Anyway, keep praying for our family and the Buccowich family also. We had dinner with Michael and Sue last night and it was a great evening! They are doing pretty good right now, but still need much prayer.

Through it all, we remain blessed and comforted by your love, kindness and prayers!!!
~Jayne~

Okay...I've been tagged

I've been tagged by my cousin Becky!

Here are the rules:
1. You have to post these rules before you give the facts. 2. You must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had. 3. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag.

DENISE

D-Demonstrative with my affections...I am very ready to give anybody (who I know) a hug

for no reason!

E-Emotionally Exhausted...given the latest events in our house...my emotions need a rest at

times.

N-Necessary...right now I'm very necessary for my husband, Jeff's, day to day memory!

I-Iced Tea...what Jeff drinks each morning to get going.

S-Supplied for...God completely provides...especially when you need to lean on Him alone.

E-Enormously Blessed!!!!!

Well...let's see, I choose Lanette, Lisa Beld, Gina H., Annette B., & Rick/Monique

Sorry Evonne, I took one of yours...but I have 6 names to come up with that have blogs...please forgive me!!!!!!

~Jayne~

Quick Note..

Jeff had an MRI today (2 different types)...for the first one he had to be in that tube lying still for 15 minutes, then they shot dye in his veins and did another test for 25 minutes...I was able to stay in the room with him during the tests...they put a mirror on the top of the headset so that every time he opened his eyes he could see me...because we had earplugs (machine is VERY loud) he couldn't hear me so I just gave him a thumbs up and mouthed that he was doing good and it would only be a few minutes...now...for the results...we should hear in a day or two..so probably not til next week...please join us in praying that there is just an empty spot where the tumor used to be...but we know & believe that God's will is perfect and in His divine wisdom this will all work out! Thank you for your prayers and I will pass on results as we get them.

Blessing!
~Jayne~

2 new things in Dalaynees life...

With everything that's going on in our household, we still have normalcy...our 3 yr. old daughter has still been sleeping in a crib...now I know that's not sooo bad, but since she's been climbing onto the side railing and jumping down to get out...we decided it's time for a "big girl bed" (pretty smart for Jeff & I huh?)...anyway, we shopped around and a twin bed and mattress just isn't within our budget right now...so we opted for a toddler bed so we can use the crib mattress...she is tickled pink!!!! Some nights she wants to go to bed at 6:30 pm! The first few nights she walked into our bedroom in the wee hours of the morning afraid of one thing or another in her room, but now she stays in her bed until a decent hour...hooray! Then, while looking online I found some great princess sheets for toddler beds, the pillow case has Cinderella on one side and Belle on the other (what more could you ask for??)...Dalaynee just giggles and says my "big girl bed" is so great...and it's just the right size!!!

Up until now I have been trimming Dalaynee's hair...and not too badly, if I do say so myself. But the other day I got a wild hair (no pun intended) to take her to Super Cuts...

We were very happy with the results...BUT...

now she looks even more like me...poor kid!!

Bless you!

~Jayne~

Memory loss Smemory loss!!!!!

We just got back from the Cognitive therapy evaluation and I think this is really going to be good!!! While we were waiting for the therapist to call us, Mike & Sue Buccowich walked in...they were there for Sue's evaluation, we were very glad to see them, but didn't get much time to talk. After asking Jeff many questions and doing little exercises the therapists suggested he come in twice a week for 4 weeks to start...she believes that they can help him by giving him tools to compensate for what he's lost and help make it easier for him to remember (I still think I'd also benefit from this therapy). Jeff doesn't remember anything about the visit right now, but I believe this is going to be VERY helpful...tonight we have our group therapy, which is very good also, however, I have to remind Jeff of that as well...see, I need memory therapy to increase my memory capacity!!!! Just a note--one of the things the therapist (Shelly) asked him to do was write a sentence about himself...here's what he wrote.."I believe that God in is control of this situation and everything is going to work out fine." He doesn't remember writing that, but if that's what came out, that's how he feels...Praise God!!!!

Thank you again for all your comments, cards, gifts, and most of all prayers...God's will is perfect and we will rest in it, nest in it & fully be blessed in it!!!!
~Jayne~

One doctor appointment down with a good result...today we went to see the Oncologist (cancer Dr.) and he was very busy so we had to see his Physician's Assistant, which I didn't like at first, but she turned out to be very nice and knowledgeable (except I think she's used to following Dr. Blitzer around instead of meeting with patients on her own...she seemed a little nervous). She said that our next step with Chemo would be the same pill at a higher dosage (500mg/day instead of 150mg/day) for 5 days out of a month for 12-24 months...sounds horrible, however, the only side affects are fatigue (yet less than chemo & radiation together), constipation (which we've been able to control just fine), and nausea (which we already have medication for), so we aren't too worried about that. Then we told her what the Radiologist told us about Jeff's memory loss being permanent...she was very surprised and said that in her experience with patients who have brain radiation, it is very common to suffer short term memory loss and it is almost always temporary...she also let us know that the radiation works on the tumor for maybe months after the treatments are complete, which might still be affecting his memory...so we believe this was a word from God, reminding us that He is in control and the memory return will be in His divine timing! On a side note, she was very happy that we were going for cognitive therapy..she said they don't utilize that enough with their brain cancer patients. So, I believe all of our prayers for direction have been answered thus far...we are anxious for the cog. evaluation tomorrow and a little more confident that Thursday's MRI will be okay too, although we still covet your prayers for healing of memory and cancer and patience for me!

Thank you again for all your prayers!!!!

~Jayne~

God's Provision...

Just a quick note (in case any of you check our blog) to our "Friends @ ERC who are praying for God's healing and blessing upon us"...THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for your amazing monetary gift at church yesterday...we were overwhelmed and brought to tears!! It is wonderful to be a part of the family of GOD!!!!!

~Jayne~

What's next????

First of all...THANK YOU for all the wonderful comments about my strength...I don't feel strong at all, so when I hear that others think so, I am encouraged and reassured that God is with me!!!

Now, for our upcoming schedule...

Next week Tuesday we have an appointment with the Oncologist, he will take a blood test to check the white cells and then let us know if Jeff has to take more chemo pills. He really hasn't had a full course of chemo, so he may have to start taking them again.

Wednesday we are going to have an evaluation done with cognitive therapy...this is for his memory...it is used most often with stroke victims and any other brain damage victims...we don't believe his memory loss is because of brain damage, but this may help him to get his memory back sooner and it could enhance it as well...I was thinking that I might also benefit from a memory enhancement!

Thursday we have the appointment for the MRI with contrast...it won't hurt him at all but it still makes him nervous. I am a little nervous as well...I really don't know what the next step will be after the results of the scan.

Then the next week we have an appointment at Cedar Sinai to discuss the results of his MRI.

From Sept 30 to Oct 3rd we want to try to go to San Diego for a few days and take Dalaynee to the zoo...we need to get away!

Please continue to pray for the cancer to be gone, patience and grace for me, and a new prayer would be for God's direction...the immediate future seems so uncertain right now...our disability and family leave will be exhausted in a few weeks and I'm not exactly sure what I will do if we need more time.

Thank you again for the unbelievable encouragement and prayer...we are SOOOO blessed!!!

~Jayne~