Scan?!?!?!?!?!?!

I know everyone is wondering what the results of Jeff's brain scan was...and...it looks like somewhere I got my wires crossed...I could have sworn they said that 2 weeks after radiation was complete they would do another MRI...as it turns out, they like to wait 6 weeks...apparently the radiation keeps working after the treatments are complete...hooray! Anyway, the appointment we had this past Thursday was just a follow-up consultation with the Radiologist, which initially was the same as the once a week meetings we had during treatments...and then, this Doctor, who is one of 2 doctors that we've seen off and on during treatments, tells us that, contrary to what we've been told all along, the memory loss that Jeff is experiencing is damage from the tumor and not a side affect of radiation...which means that it is permanent!!! We were floored, to say the least! I don't mind telling you, I raised my voice to the doctor and he raised his right back to me insinuating that I must have misunderstood what I was told before and that he wanted to make sure I was understanding what he was telling me now...anyway, the meeting ended friendly, but it was a little heated for a few minutes! Because we have been told different all along, because we have heard from brain cancer survivors that memory loss goes with radiation, and because we serve a God that is bigger than all of this, Jeff & I have chosen to believe that this is just this doctor's opinion and he is entitled to his opinion...however, we are looking into an out patient cognitive therapy program offered by the hospital that will help get his memory back sooner as well as enhance it...which will help him to be more positive and feel productive.

Just in case you're not sure what is involved in "short term memory loss" I thought I'd give you an example...from the time Jeff gets out of bed in the morning until he goes to bed for the night he will ask me 20-40 times what day it is. When we left to meet my family for dinner at 6:15p tonight, he had no idea what we did today...one thing we did is get his head shaved again...he doesn't even remember being at the barber shop! Basically, right now I can't have a normal conversation with my husband, my partner...when I am telling him things that are going on with me or something cute that Dalaynee did...he interrupts me to ask what day it is or what are our plans for the evening etc...it is very frustrating, but because of all the prayer being lifted up for us I am able to answer his questions in a calm voice to reassure him and help him not to feel so lost, and also, hold in my sharing or venting until I am able to talk to my mother or sister, who have been wonderful support and strong shoulders for me.

Basically, Jeff & I both feel that this tumor is not going to kill him...but...our uncertainty about what is next brings on fear! Please continue to pray for strength, patience for me, and comfort for the fear!

As always, we would have nothing without our church, family & friends...Bless you!!!!
~Jayne~